Nevermind Live Music, here comes Stripadvisor!
World-leading “travel for live music” service GigsGuide is happy to announce that it is pivoting its business in a new direction and will soon be rebranding as Stripadvisor.
We started GigsGuide to make it easier for people to travel the world and discover the local live music scene of the destinations they visit. We thought it would be a great way to inspire a more respectful way to travel, create real value for our local communities and inspire new human connections through music.
In a hindsight, that was a pretty dumb idea.
A year of pandemic has clearly demonstrated how little our society, and particularly our politicians and decision makers, care for musicians, culture workers, independent venues and culture in general.
We put the “Silicon” in Valley
After an extensive design sprint with a very expensive boutique consulting firm, we finally realized one thing: the world is run by middle-aged white men and bros in Patagonia vests, and the only way to succeed in life is to put their interests first and build something THEY will love. And what better way to make these guys happy than helping them find the best titty bars wherever they go?
In a heated discussion on Clubhouse, some of the world’s top VCs were bullish about the prospect that Stripadvisor might soon be offering the possibility of getting the stripper of your choice delivered to your door in 15 minutes or less. According to a guy called Dave, “It is going to be a Unicorn so big, you can pole dance on it!”
The switch from GigsGuide to Stripadvisor has already received an incredible amount of praise from the political elites. Former Italian Prime Minister Silvio “bunga bunga” Berlusconi and Former US President Donald “grab ’em by the pussy” Trump are among the world leaders that have sent their congratulations and support for the long overdue change of strategy.
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Stripadvisor is also extremely excited to announce a new appointment to its Board of Directors.
Inspired by Prince Harry’s recent employment in an overfunded Silicon Valley startup, his uncle Prince Andrew decided to invest in Stripadvisor. To fund the continued development of the service — and support the mandatory lavish lifestyle of the executive team — Prince Andrew has announced he will auction the NFT of his famous TV interview to the highest bidder (it will probably be Elon Musk).
No, we are not rebranding (although the new tagline is admittedly quite catchy). No, we are not shifting to other types of “entertainment discovery” services.
It was clearly just a poor attempt at an April Fool’s joke.
What is not a joke, though, is how little support culture and live music have received in the last year, and the total lack of interest from our governments and local decision makers to make sure there will be culture and live music also at the end of this terrible tunnel.
To be very honest, rather than “helping them find titties”, we’d love to give them all a solid kick in the nuts!
In the past weeks, over 100 pan-European networks have been calling for the inclusion of Culture in each and every National Recovery and Resilience Plan (NRRP), with 2% (at the very least) of the RRF envelope to be earmarked for culture.
We think that is the very least the EU Commission and our National governments can do, what do you think?
Originally published at https://gigs.guide on April 1, 2021.